After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Japanese scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

In the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read:
" US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Japanese".

One week later, a Filipino newspaper reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500 metres, Filipino scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology ".  

AMO: Inday! Bakit mo binenta yung sira na silya?

INDAY: I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pretax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on PPE, and PAS36 on impairment of assets.

AMO: [hinimatay]

------------------

I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

- Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo!

AMO: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda... ay oo nga pala ingglesera ka na ngayon... would you please purchase many fishes for our this week's meals.

INDAY: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term 'fishes', although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day'd catch? [pauses]  aaaahhh by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this household's quasi=peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple 'ga-lewng-hong'. Am I correct?

AMO: Leche!

INDAY: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then 'ba-ngooz' is it.

------------------- 

Dear Sir/Madam,

Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis...

- si Inday nag papaalam mamalengke

"The oil normalizing series specifically designed for my oily skin not only works physically on the skin surface, but penetrates deep into the skin layers to normalize oil secretion for a healthy and long-lasting oil free skin."

- paliwanag ni Inday habang nagpapahid ng chin-chan-su

-------------

Sa resto:

WAITER: Ano po order nila, maam?

AMO: Yung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano sayo?

INDAY: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.

AMO: Iho, pa-order daw ng adobo with rice.

We all know that Inday is a common name for the julalays and chimi-a-a's.. just imagine.. si ati.. ganito magsalita.. baka batukan ko siya ng di oras. LOL

Amo: Inday, bakit nag kalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occured wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

Amo: (nosebleed)